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Write It On A Rock

Faith and Family
May 13th, 2012 by Sarah

The Way I Want to be Remembered as Mom to my Kids


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I have been reflecting today, Mother’s Day, on my own mom and how much I love her.

As I’ve mentioned before, my mom raised us as a single mom, and she struggled with mental health issues most of my childhood.  We did not have the cleanest house on the block.  She didn’t bake, decorate, or garden, and she didn’t cook gourmet food.

I also know my mom made mistakes, but that’s not what I remember about her.

What I do remember is my mom sitting on my bed rubbing my back when I cried as a hormonal teenager.  I remember her packing embarrassingly gigantic lunches when I went on field trips because she was afraid I would get hungry.  And, I remember her compassionate responses when I was sick or struggling with something.

My mom really loved us.  1 Peter 4:8 says, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

That verse gives me much comfort.  I know I will make mistakes as a mom, and I will sin.  I am lacking in a variety of areas.  I have bad crabby days, but I love my kids deeply.

I hope that my kids remember my love for them and forget my mistakes :).

As I think back to the ways my mom showed her love to me, times that stick out to me vividly, these are a few of the things I want to emulate.

  • My mom showed compassion and mercy when I was hurting, even if it was just a small sickness.
  • She encouraged us often.
  • She took the time to have a “special one on one time” with my brother, sister and I.  Since she often didn’t have babysitters she would take us out of school once in a while for a lunch date.  We cherished that time.
  • She gave us consequences for our behavior, something I loathed at the time but have become thankful for.
  • She was humble enough to apologize.

I remember a time right before I got married.  I was praying and thinking about the possibly near future of being a mom.  Something inside me felt scared and inadequate.  The sense of responsibility washed over me.  I wondered, well I still do wonder sometimes, am I going to mess my children up?

In hindsight I was scared because I thought I had to be perfect, and the picture I had of the “perfect mom” didn’t fit me.

I will never forget the mental image I saw in my head as I confessed my fear to God.  I pictured a little boy laying in his bed, and I was kneeling beside him apologizing.  It was as if the Lord was comforting me by saying, “you won’t be perfect, but you will be forgiven.”

That did bring me comfort, and I have apologized to my children many times since God spoke that to my heart ten years ago.  Just yesterday I turned down the radio in our car and said, “sorry I was crabby today.  I have had a bad attitude, will you guys forgive me?”

They accepted my apology, as they always do.  Sometimes we as parents think it’s unnecessary to apologize, but doing so models a repentant heart, brings reconciliation and shows our kids that we aren’t perfect just because we are the parents.

Thank you Mom for modeling deep love for me.  Thank you for your humility, and your empathy.  It’s why I still call you almost daily.  You listen, you understand, and when I am struggling you pray with me.

I pray for a healthy and godly relationship with my children and that I can model for them the deep, deep love of Christ.

 

Comments

13 Responses to “The Way I Want to be Remembered as Mom to my Kids”
  1. Beautiful post Sarah.

  2. Sarah, your story hit on so many areas of my life as a mom. I have seven children aged 8-32. With you describing your mom, I was a lot like that. I was a young mom and suffered from depression in my 20s which stemmed from an abusive childhood; however, I knew I would lay down my life for my children. I made many mistakes and got angry far too many times. Many times I wanted to reach out for help but didn’t for fear I would lose my kids or someone would think I was a bad mom. Only through God’s grace, I have amazing children whom I love with all my heart. Through the years, only through God’s presence in my life, I have learned patience, love, and forgiveness. There are programs now to help young moms which weren’t around when my oldest children were little. I also emphasize to my kids the importance of placing God at the center of your home.

  3. Jessamine Warneke says

    Love this post! So vulnerable, honest, heartfelt, and humble. Great words to speak the truth about our walk as mothers.

  4. Sarah, your posts are so well written. I completely agree that is so good to apologize for crabby days! You are such a wonderful mom! Your mom must be very proud of you!!!

  5. Thanks for that beautiful post! What an awesome reminder. I love it!!!

  6. Jolene Whicker says

    Thank you for expressing yourself in a way we can all admire and appreciate. Love to all!

  7. Wonderful words. God bless you and your wonderful family!

  8. Sarah – I read this awhile ago but wanted to tell you how much I loved hearing about your mom. I too remember all the good things about my mom — we can only pray our kids will remember the same about us! Or at least that we weren’t afraid to admit when we’re wrong. Thanks for sharing your heart with us, Sarah.

  9. Thanks Sarah, I really like this post about Mothers! I had a Mom that battled with depression and it was like walking on egg shells a lot of the time, never really knowing what kind of mood she would be in. But, I too know that she loved me & my two sisters and did the best she could! I also know that she taught me about God and brought us to church & Sunday School, I aplaud her for giving me my faith in God!
    I too have struggled with depression and have made mistakes in raising my 4 kids, but if it weren’t for my faith in God and my children I may not be here today. So I keep on trying to be a good Mom and someone they can respect and love, because I soo love them!

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