Last fall, while I was pregnant with Jasper, our fourth baby, I was having one of those long difficult days where everything seemed to go wrong, and I was exhausted from the pregnancy.
I made it to the afternoon and as I rocked my daughter by her crib before nap time I realized it was the first quiet moment I had had all day. It was like I forgot that I could call on God and had been scurrying around aimlessly all day.
I whispered a quick prayer for Isabelle in her ear and then one for myself as well. I prayed, “Lord, I am so weary, please give me your strength.”
I laid Isabelle down in her crib and ran downstairs to round up my two boys. It was not a minute after I whispered my plea to God that I stepped outside, and up in the sky an eagle came soaring over our heads.
“An eagle!” Micah and I both yelled. We ran through the grass watching it until it perched on a branch in front of us. I had never seen an eagle in the wild before and it was beautiful. Right when I saw it my prayer came to the forefront of my mind and I remembered a verse about eagles.
It says, “Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:30-31.
I have carried that verse with me throughout these last months, but still I forget often.
We are in the midst of a trial at the moment. Only five days in and I am weary. I have taken my stress out on my husband at certain times, and I have worried when I should have prayed. I was reminded of that last night of how faithful God is, and that He will bring good out of this.
God wants us to trust Him, and how quickly we forget in our current trial that He was faithful in our last. I went to bed last night reminding myself of God’s faithfulness and He showed Himself so evident today. It wasn’t free of hardship, but wow was He evident.
In fact, this morning I opened up a letter from one of the children we sponsor through Compassion International and the verse our child wrote at the end of the letter was Isaiah 40:30-31. I needed that reminder. Hope in the Lord Sarah and your strength will be renewed.
Then I read this quote by J.I. Packer. “The weaker we feel, the harder we lean. The harder we lean, the stronger we grow spiritually, even while our bodies waste away.”
It is not bad to feel weak, and it is inevitable to go through trials. God doesn’t tell us the outcome of our situation because when He doesn’t we wait on Him. We long to hear His voice.
God knows what He’s doing and we can trust Him in the midst of hardship, asking Him for help and strength. I am constantly growing in this, but I want to lean hard on Him. I want to hope in God’s promises and in so doing experience the strength that only He can give.
“So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. 11 All power to him forever! Amen.” 1 Peter 5:10
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