Write It On A Rock

“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.”     Ecclesiastes 3:1

Our summer started out a little rough around the edges, but it got so much better that I have to choke back tears every time I think of school starting for the kids tomorrow.

I will miss the picnics in our front yard, the warm sun, fresh berries and lazy days, but mainly my heart aches at the transition that Hudson’s making from preschooler to kindergartener.

He still holds my hand when we go on walks, and kisses my cheek when I drop him off at church.  I guess I just don’t want to let that sweet little boy go.

And Micah will be in second grade.  I will miss the two of them.  I know there is a benefit to a more little peace and quiet, as well as time with the two little ones, but right now I’m putting off making lunches because I want to live in denial.

Thanks for listening, I feel better already.

What’s odd is that three weeks into summer I was over it.  For some reason the older three kids weren’t getting along and I felt like I was constantly disciplining.

While that was going on Jasper started walking.  Goodbye baby stage, but hello cute little walker.

It was questionable whether Jasper would survive that stage, but he did.  He fell at least ten times a day, and ate everything in sight whether it was edible or not.  But he lived to tell the tale, and now he’s nineteen months old, walking well and saying words.

I lived to tell the tale too.  Just barely, I thought I was going crazy three weeks into summer.  I’m exaggerating, but at the time it didn’t seem so funny to me.

The most difficult day was topped off by Isabelle cutting her own hair while she was supposed to be sleeping.  The next day we went to Kid’s Hair so she could get her first professional haircut and just getting out of the house I started to feel sane again.

Sometimes you just need to get out of the house.  You know, interact with people who whose[‘÷ heads reach higher than your waist.

Here is the before and after of Isabelle’s hair.  Notice the lovely mullet she cut in the first picture.

I don’t know what happened but from then on our summer did get much, much better.  I think a lot of it was prayer, and that I restarted a small group with some women (community helps a lot).

I did a lot of praying for each child individually.  I pray for them daily, but a friend encouraged me to pray for them more specifically.  To pray against sin that has been passed down through generations, and to pray for their specific struggles.

I think our kids needed to get back into the groove of being with each other all day long, and part way through the summer they played together so well.

I’m thankful.  We ended up having a great summer, not void of its bumps, bruises and sunburns, but great.  Here it is in a nutshell.

I read, and even got some novels in.  “All She Ever Wanted” by Lynn Austin was my favorite fiction book that I read this summer, .

My favorite non-fiction book I read this summer was probably Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst.  It’s about dealing with our emotions in a healthy way, and from a biblical perspective.

We went to visit my grandparents in Appleton, WI, and saw extended family we hadn’t seen in years.  We went to a water park resort in Wisconsin Dells on our way back.

We completed a summer bucket list that consisted of things from baking strawberry rhubarb pie to playing capture the flag in the back yard.  My purse got stolen from our car while were at the zoo.

Micah and I celebrated our birthdays, which are three days apart and Jason and I are 11 year wedding anniversary.

I hope you all had great summers and have a nice transition into fall.  Here’s to chilly mornings, turning leaves, cooking and pumpkin spice scented candles.

I think one of Jason and my most memorable fights was probably my first ever Mother’s Day. I was so excited because this was my first year being a mom which brought with it many life changes that year.  I can’t remember exactly what happened, but I think he planned an outing but didn’t give me a card or gift and what I really wanted most was a card.  Words of encouragement is definitely my love language!

My expectations were not huge, but I should have communicated them because Jason and I were on completely different pages in regards to this day. I tried to hide my disappointment but by evening it didn’t end well. :). Mother’s Day was a bigger deal at my house than it was at his, and that always causes some friction when we have different expectations.

Everyone is different in how they feel honored, but for some reason we often assume our husbands can read our minds and that is very frustrating for them. We ladies need to communicate our expectations in various areas of life, even if it feels awkward.

For me, I don’t want jewelry on Mother’s Day, a fancy dinner or even flowers, though all of those are fine and I would like any of the above. What do I want?

Well this year when Jason asked me what I wanted to do for Mother’s Day I overly communicated my expectations and it went great.  (We celebrated Mother’s Day a week early because Jason has an obligation this weekend).

I would have been fine with a wide variety of things to do on Mother’s Day. I wasn’t trying to be controlling, but I also didn’t want Jason to stress by going out and trying to find me a nice gift or guessing on what to do after I nearly ripped his head off on my first Mother’s Day. I know, I have issues.

I told Jason, “you don’t need to buy me anything, but I would really like a card. (Jason is the BEST at writing cards), “I would love to go on a walk as a family, and could you make dinner, something really easy?”

Jason doesn’t cook so he hesitated on the dinner part. We had planned on going out for dinner… with four children that isn’t the most relaxing and I thought it would be special to have Jason make a meal.  So, I gave him the recipe for the easiest thing I had on our menu for the week… chicken enchiladas.

Our kids ended up firing me from making chicken enchiladas, stating that Daddy’s are the best. I am pretty sure this boosted Jason’s ego when it comes to cooking and he might want to cook more often.

We went for a walk as a family and Jason gave me a very nicely written homemade card with crayon stick people on the front and a coupon for a pedicures with my friend Shannon later in the week.

I requested this gift because Shannon  is the mother of the year in my book.  She has four kids ages 7 and under, and her husband is deployed right now in Afghanistan.  She does an amazing job as a mom so Jason watched our kids and treated us both to pedicures.

Jason helped the kids to each make a card, and they each made me cry. Even though the kid’s cards said things like, “I will take you on nineteen dates for Chinese food (their favorite not mine), and you pay.” ☺

I love my family. It was simple and perfect.

Two lessons. One, either we need to communicate our desires or just be understanding that our spouse is not a mind reader. Just because our spouse or kids don’t do what we expect doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate us.

And if I get no card or recognition, I know that the best gift we have as mothers is being a mom.

For some reason I find myself more appreciative of that fact on mother’s day. I put aside chores in favor of spending more time with them.  I find myself staring at my children with a smile on my face, savoring the reality that this really hard, wonderful, beautiful and sometimes painful job of being a mom is truly a gift from above.

Three weeks ago I was able to fly down, baby Jasper and I, to Chicago for a quick two-night visit with my dear college friend Missy.  She is sick with Lyme disease so I told her when I planned the trip out that I had no expectations to do anything.  I just wanted to spend time together and hopefully bring some brightness and encouragement to her during this time.

We didn’t shop on the magnificent mile or visit Millenium Park. We did get to spend hours just sitting on her white denim couch talking about life, and God’s faithfulness through trials and our kids.  We covered topics that we never get to while we’re on the phone, our kids screaming in the background.  That’s what girls do best.  Talk.  I love friendship, and believe it’s one of God’s greatest gifts.

After leaving I was reminded that even in this busy season a simple phone call to a good friend can brighten my day and hers.  A note in the mail or a meal delivered when a friend is struggling is one of the top investments we can make with our time.

Missy and I did get to go to Giordonnos for Chicago Style Pizza (a must when I’m in Chicago) and I told her the only other restaurant I really wanted to get to was Chick Filet since we don’t have one in MN.  Have you ever had the carrot salad from chick filet?   I always get the carrot salad as a side.

I love it, but I found an even better recipe.  It’s called Carrot Craisin Slaw, and I found the recipe on my friend’s blog “The Kid Friendly Home”.

I use my food processor to grade the carrots and I at least quadruple the recipe.  The food processor makes this recipe easy.

Carrot Craisin Slaw:

3 cups grated carrots
1/4 cup craisins
2 Tbs. white wine vinegar
3 Tbs. canola or olive oil
1 Tbs. honey
1 Tbs. water
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon

Combine all ingredients.  Chill before serving.  See if the kids think it’s desert! (You can always try…)

I am making this Carrot salad today as a side for a good friend who had a baby.  They’re family eats gluten free so I was looking for kid friendly, gluten free sides.  I hope you try it.

What long time friend do you miss?  Pick up the phone just to say hi :).

Hi everyone, spring is on the horizon and that makes me happy.  This will be a long post as it’s been awhile.  The last couple months have been full of cooking, cleaning, basketball for Micah, soccer for Isabelle and Hudson, instructing/disciplining Isabelle, lots of family time (3 of our kids birthdays in one month), and then cooking and cleaning some more.

I’ve also been reading a lot.  I should do a post reviewing the books I’ve been reading, but I”m not so sure I would be good at book reviews.  The last two months I have had the opportunity to speak a few times as well.

It has been hard to balance everything that was on our plate the last two months and made me so very grateful to be able to focus on just being a mom.  It is so easy to think the grass is greener on the other side.  I don’t complain about being a SAHM. It’s a privilege and a choice.  I sometimes miss doing ministry and, though I know being a mom is a ministry, sometimes I feel like I should be doing more.

But, to experience trying to write a message while Isabelle asks me thirty-five times if she can have a candy cane was a good realization that no one can “do it all” and do it well.

I am grateful for the season that I am in thankful that God showed me to be content where He has me.  There are seasons for everything.  I may do a little ministry outside the home here and there, but for now love being home with our kids.

I also got to step into Jason’s shoes when I spoke with him, which was great.  How often do we get to experience our spouses life so we can empathise with them?  Not many of us do, and now I wish Jason could completely experience a day in my life :).  I so appreciate what Jason does, and know that we are each where we are supposed to be.

Jason and I spoke at our church’s marriage event on six things we’ve learned in our marriage.   It was fun to teach, together, what God has taught us.  At the bottom of this post I linked a guest blog with a shortened version of one of my points.

I have not done any speaking since Micah was a baby, and I was really nervous, but knew God prepared me for this. He had all of the speaking engagements land right in a row within almost a month of each other… with the biggest audience last.  I could not have planned it better.

I kept telling myself that I felt like God called me to do this and He will equip me… I was not putting my hope in my own abilities, but in the fact that He prepares and equips us by His Spirit when He calls us to something.

Right before we went out to face over a thousand faces, I told Jason that I was applying something I learned from a story in Genesis 24 where Abraham’s servant travels to find a wife for his son Isaac.  You can read the story here if you’d like.  I love this story for many reasons.

First, I love it because it shows God’s work in our lives when we trust in His plan. Second, I love how the servant so boldly and specifically prays for God’s favor as it seemed like a needle in a haystack to find the right wife for Isaac.

In verse 12 the servant prayed, “Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham.”

Then in verse 26 Abraham’s servant immediately, praises God and gives Him the glory when God does so obviously give him success.  Verse 26 says,  ^“Then the man bowed down and worshiped the Lord, saying, “Praise be to the Lord,the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to my master. As for me, the Lord has led me on the journey to the house of my master’s relatives.”

When we pray we can have confidence that God hears us.  We’re not demanding anything of God.  We’re asking, but we can know that when we ask God He hears us, even if it may not always seem like it.  When God answers us we should take the example of the servant and praise Him right away.

I have had some fears that are somewhat irrational, yet real to me.  After taking this passage of Scripture to heart I have found myself praying more specifically about my fears and able to leave them at God’s feet knowing He hears me and His answer will be perfect.

For example, my best friend has lyme disease and because they did not find out for a long time it has turned into a two year battle with autoimmune symptoms and sometimes debilitating illness.  I have known several people who got lyme disease this last summer, a few of them were kids.  Thankfully each person, including my father-in-law, found out early enough that the antibiotics worked right away.

One of my fears has been that one of my kids will get lyme and I won’t know or see symptoms right away.  I think talking to my friend weekly about what she’s going through keeps this fear at the forefront of my mind.  So my specific prayers is, “Lord, please protect us from this disease and if our kids contract lyme will you show us right away.”

I have felt such a great peace.  God has shown me specific answers to prayer over and over again. He has shown me that even through hardships He is faithful and has a plan for the hardships.

So, I pray boldly and in anticipation.  If I struggle to let a particular fear go I will ask friends to pray with me.  How I love the peace that comes when we trust the God who gave up His only Son because He loves us that much.

So back to the other night when we spoke.  I prayed many specific prayers one I copied from Abraham’s servant, that God would give me success.  Right when we got out there I felt such peace wash over me.  I felt calm and wanted God to work through me, as opposed to caring what people thought about me.  Right afterward I thanked God and gave Him the glory, knowing that peace and calm came from Him.

I am constantly grateful that I can draw on the Holy Spirit throughout my day.  I have way too many weaknesses to count, so the fact that God doesn’t get annoyed with me asking for help (He wants me to)  is absolutely amazing.

I am asking God for success that I can live for Him, that I will parent my kids well, use our time and money well, and to be a godly wife.  I know I can’t do it on my own, which is good, because I will more readily remember to praise Him when I have success.

If you’ve made it this far :), and you still want to read my guest blog for the EBC Marriage and Family Blog, “Six Ways to Fight Better in our Marriages.”  You can read that here if you’re interested.

Blessings to you all, and thanks for reading the random things that go on in my brain :).

Thanks for reading, and more later… I almost promise.

It feels like falls coming doesn’t it.  Why does summer always seem to go faster than lightning?  Hope you get to enjoy the cooler nights with the windows open or have a bonfire this weekend.  Here are some weekend ideas.

Get your favorite snack or drink after the kids go to bed and have a little at home date night.  Ask some of these great questions for fun conversation starters.

Get some good rest.  I read this article today, Why Parents Need More Sleep and How to Get It .  Though I know I need to get to bed a bit earlier, I needed a slight kick in the rear end.  I am often up with Jasper in the middle of the night but still struggle with wanting to stay up late.  She gave some helpful tips for that.

Are you sick of nagging your kids?  I know I am.  Download this free e-book Smooth and Easy Days by Sonya Shafer.  If you don’t have time to read all of it, read chapter 3, fascinating how our brain works.

It has completely changed the way I help my children develop habits, and it’s working.  It could help us adults with our habits as well :).

Have a great weekend!