Write It On A Rock

 

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Jason is my wonderful husband who keeps me laughing all the time.  I tend to be on the serious side sometimes, but I love to laugh.  I am so thankful that he has such a great sense of humor.  Jason is so hard working and an amazing dad.  When I married him I thought he would be a good dad, but I had no idea he would be this great of a dad.

We are both first borns, actually he is an only child.  But we still manage to work well together.  Jason is fast, efficient and future oriented.  I am a little more in the moment and I more so like to take care of others.

Jason is a teaching pastor, campus pastor and speaker at retreats and events.  I love this man so much and am so thankful for ten years of marriage and growth together.

Micah is our firstborn.  He’s six and a half and in kindergarten.  He really broke us into parenting from the first day home from the hospital.  He is spirited, talkative, great at talking with adults, (in fact sometimes prefers them to kids), and is very intelligent.  Micah has a great imagination.  He loves God and has a hunger for God’s Word.  He loves sports, taking after Daddy.  He wants to look up “power rankings” on NBA and NFL teams at least a few times a week.  When I look at him I can’t believe that he’s not my little two-year-old guy.   I am so proud of the person he’s becoming.

Hudson is four, and he is a teddy bear.  He is the most compassionate boy I have ever met.  He cries when his little siblings cry.  He loves others so much.  He loves playing sports, playing with Micah, and being silly.  He really wants to make others laugh, and is good at it. He is such a snuggler, which is a gift to me.  I love when he prays as it is so fun to listen to, and he gets excited that God can hear him.

Isabelle is two, and she is so endearing.  She is in two year old mode.  Since this is my third time having a two-year-old it is amazing to see the similarities, and how much of their behavior is developmental. Isabelle is sweet, and a little shy.  She loves, loves books and snuggling, and playing with her brothers.  She recognizes people’s emotions, is compassionate and has such a sweet spirit.

Jasper is three months old, and well, he likes to sleep.  He is such a happy baby.  I am totally in love with him and can’t wait to get to know him more.

 

Our Growing Story

Every day I am reminded that God’s grace is enough for me.  He is consistently showing His strength in my weakness.  My life is a testimony of God’s grace.

When I was young I lived in an abusive home.  My dad is an alcoholic and my mom left my dad when I was six years old, with three children six and under.  We lived in a couple of women’s shelters and my mom sought after resources to take care of us the best that she could.

My mom struggled with mental health issues and was in and out of the hospital throughout my childhood.  She loved us and was so tender toward us.  She really did the best that she could to care for us in the midst of her hardships.

I came to know Jesus as my Savior when I was a little girl.  My family church attendance was sporadic because my mom struggled to get us there. Yet God was always with me and provided friends and family members to bring us to church and minister to me.  God used His Word and prayer  to speak to me.  I loved church and learning about God even as a little child.

After a few years of no contact at all with my dad we slowly reconciled and began more visits.  My dad had eleven years of recovery from drugs and alcohol until he relapsed when I was sixteen-years-old.

My dad’s phone calls become less frequent and our conversations became shorter.  Then one day I asked him if he started using again, and his response was a nervous sounding “why?”  It was so hard to hear, and our relationship, though we still have one, has never been the same since.

As an encouraging side note my mom is doing so great.  She now goes to church weekly even though she doesn’t drive.  She volunteers, is in a couple of small groups and Bible studies.  She has grown so much in her mental health and physical health and has overcome many obstacles by the grace of God.

In high school I struggled with loneliness and with finding my identity in Christ.  Again, God’s grace was there to lead me out of my selfish desires.  I had mentors who helped me to navigate through the hardships of high school life, and I know that Jesus kept me from a lot of negative things I could have engaged in.

My junior year was the hardest.  That was the year my dad relapsed into drug and alcohol abuse.  My sister, who is eighteen months younger than myself, attempted suicide multiple times.  I reached out to her and desperately wanted to help her but she resented me.  My life with friends, sports and home were not going well.  Coupled with teenage hormones and lack of sleep it was painfully difficult.

I remember reading the book of Romans in the Bible often and holding on to verses like Romans 5:3-5 and Romans 8:28.  I believed that God would use these trials for good, and I believe He has and will continue to.  I came out of that year with a deeper trust in Him, stronger friendships, and a joy I had never had before.

When I was sixteen I met my future husband, Jason.  After our first date I called my friend and told her that I was just on a date with the man I would marry.  I had never thrown that word around, and I did not know Jason very well.  I don’t know why that came out of my mouth, but I am so thankful it came to be.

This is a picture of us in high school, so funny.

We dated long distance while Jason was at college and I   was still in high school, but our relationship was immature  and not centered.  We were not on the same page at all.  Jason was not a follower of Christ, and  I was seeking my joy in a boyfriend instead of my relationship with Christ.  Jason was an idol in my life.

One day before I was leaving on a missions trip to Russia I was talking to my little brother about relationships, explaining how our relationships should be surrounded around Christ, not ourselves.  I was being a hypocrite as I spoke without even realizing it… until my brother asked me, “is that how you and Jason are?”  It hit me hard.  Our relationship was not right and I had been justifying it for a year.  I couldn’t tell my brother one thing, and live my life another way.

That night I broke up with Jason.  I was so brokenhearted over it.  I had not guarded my heart even though I knew I should have been.  I didn’t explain why we needed to break up because I didn’t want him to pretend to change.  I knew that I could not change anyone and knew I needed to be willing to leave this relationship behind me.

The next morning I left for Russia for two weeks.  I didn’t know anyone too well so I sat on the plane and cried the first few hours of the flight, saddened by our breakup.  I knew it was the right thing, but I hate goodbyes.

It was perfect timing for us to be apart… I needed my faith to be stretched, and Jason needed to find faith in Jesus without me.  (If you want to find out more about having peace with God, click here, this is a great website).

Jason had always thought he was very moral because he compared himself to others and kind of thought God graded on a curve.  He didn’t think he was a sinner so he didn’t think he needed a savior.

While I was in Russia Jason had a miraculous experience that led him to Jesus. He realized that he didn’t treat others with the love he should, and that he had ignored God for years.  He got on his knees in his dorm room and confessed his sin, asking Jesus into his life.

I got home on Easter and Jason told me all about it.  I could not believe it.  In fact, I really didn’t.  I thought maybe he was trying to please me, and thought it would be a phase.  He went back to college and began reading his Bible.  He was growing so fast, and it was so evident that the Holy Spirit was living in him, and changing his life.

After a couple of months we got back together and started our relationship afresh.  It was really different this time.  It wasn’t perfect, but it was different and better.

Jason transferred schools and changed his major from economics to communications.  He decided that he wanted to go into ministry.

Growing up Christianity was never about religion or earning God’s favor.  I trusted God and saw Him as a perfect Father.

It wasn’t until highschool, but more so college that I started to really intellectually search for the truth.  I experienced doubt in college, but came out believing that Jesus really did raise from the dead, and that I would base my life on Him, my Creator, and what He said.

This is a crazy belief in our naturalistic society, and yet Jesus predicted it beforehand, and many eyewitnesses confirmed it  Lives were changed due to His resurrection, and now 2,000 years later, I have proof that my life has changed because of Him.

The prophesies from the Old Testament that were fulfilled by Jesus are enough to make me believe He was not just a “good teacher.”  He is God with us.

During Jason’s last year of college he became a youth pastor and we both led in the youth group together.  We were married in June 2002, and have grown so much in the last ten years as a married couple.

We have learned so much in our marriage, and love the idea (from Gary Thomas’s) dvd/book “The Sacred Marriage” that God gave us marriage to help make us more like Jesus not to merely to make us happy.

By God’s grace we seek to put Jesus first and each other second, loving and serving our kids and others as a team.  We have some amazing kids.  They truly are a blessing from the Lord.

As I look back on my life thus far I see God’s grace.  I could write for hours about the ways that God has led me toward Him, how He has answered prayer, and about the mercy He has had on me.

He has given me so much good, and I am so thankful.  I cannot wait to see the good God has prepared in heaven, and until then I want to serve Him with my whole life.